Saturday, October 22, 2016

Kenny Wizz vs Navi vs Ben - Can there be only one #1 Michael Jackson tribute artist?

Last night, I have been to a place called Stevenage to watch a Michael Jackson tribute artist called Ben. He was one of only two UK tribute artists I found interesting and promising enough to spend money on a ticket, transport, and accommodation (it's too difficult to travel back home with public transport at night).

Now that I have seen three different Michael Jackson tribute artists in person, I would like to write about what they have in common, what made each of them stand out, and then answer the question: Is there really a number one? Did one of the two UK tributes manage to do something Kenny did not do? If you have read my old writings about Kenny, you know that he's very special (at least to me).

I will have a look at their looks, their energy during the performance, the song selection, the costumes, the singing (or lack of it), the moves, the band & the dancers, the overall feel of the concert, and the meet & greet after the shows. In the end, I will give my own absolutely personal opinion about who the number one is or isn't (if you don't agree, please don't add hateful comments at the end - everyone's welcome to their own opinion, so let me have mine).

The looks
The first thing you notice when you see a Michael Jackson tribute artist is their looks. While we are always told not to judge people by the way they look, it's just part of an MJ tribute to look the part - and they know it.
While I could easily see the difference between Kenny, Navi, and Ben, they all did an excellent job. You can see the difference - but all three of them achieve the same effect: they are very nice to look at, they are convincing. Kenny is the one who uses the most make-up and turns himself into a completely different person. He's the one you would not recognize without the make-up. Navi is the one who got some plastic surgery done to look more like Michael, so needs less sculpting with make-up and other things,  I guess. Ben seems to just not need much. I don't really know, but he seems the one with the least make-up.
I guess all three of them wear wigs, so not much to say about that. Ben has very long hair on stage, it looks very nice (as in too good to be true). Navi has the cute habit of playing a lot with his locks and Kenny just wears it like it's natural.

The energy during the performance
The energy they have on stage is the one thing were there are differences - even when it comes to different shows of the same tribute, there are differences. I can't say that about Ben yet. I have only seen him once. But during that one performance, he gave his all. Compared to Kenny and Navi, he is a lot younger though, so it shouldn't be a surprise that he has no (visible) issues. He danced a lot. He moved a lot. No signs of weakness there. It's kind of like the best parts of Kenny and Navi combined into one person.

Kenny has a lot of energy throughout the whole experience and in all five shows I've seen (within one and a half weeks!), he always had that incredible energy. Not once did you ever get the feeling that he feels the performance is a burden on him. He just wings it and makes it look effortless. Yes, there's a lot of sweat (would be a bad sign if there wasn't) but Kenny managed to make flying drops of sweat look like works of art. That might sound weird, but he's just that good. Kenny is also incredibly professional and tough. I know he hurt his wrist during the first performance I saw - but you wouldn't have noticed it in the following shows, he showed himself no mercy.

I've seen Navi twice. The first performance seemed a bit lacking in energy. I don't know what happened there. I loved his performance, no doubt, but it was like a shadow was hanging over the man. I just wanted him to have a break, relax, and cry it out, whatever it was. I guess others didn't notice anything, but during my first Navi experience, I felt a little worried. The second show was different. I almost felt like it was a different person on stage. He seemed to move more, have more energy, and also.... well, I wouldn't call him happy, but he seemed less "dark". I don't know what it is, but Navi doesn't smile much when he's on stage. He seems like a very serious, angry and/or sad version of Michael Jackson.  

The song selection
I guess other people will have other opinions but to me Kenny is the winner here, followed by Ben, and then by Navi. Kenny seems to sing the most songs, followed by Ben, followed by Navi. Navi's selection just misses many of my favourites. And by many I don't just mean one or two. I just have one question: Why does nobody do "Blood on the Dancefloor"? Why? And nobody ever does my favourite song - but that's okay. I doubt any of them could do it without me cringing for some reason.

Kenny stood out with his performance of "The way you make me feel" (Ben did stand out with that one, too, to be fair). And while I did not see Kenny's version of "Human Nature" live, I saw it on videos. Hard to beat. Almost impossible to beat. Ben is just as good. Navi doesn't do it, so I can't compare there.

Ben and Kenny both did "I'll be there". Navi didn't. Come on Navi. Not even "I'll be there"?

Kenny sang "Ben". He was the only one to sing that song. He was also the only one to sing "Gone too soon", "Smile", "I just can't stop loving you", and "She's out of my life".

I don't remember who sang what in which sequence - and you wouldn't want to have a song by song playlist anyway. It's just my own personal opinion that Kenny's shows included more songs. 

The costumes
Kenny wins this one. No doubt. From golden leotard with black trousers underneath to gold pants, full Smooth Criminal outfit, Dangerous suit, ripping his shirt at the end of "Black or White", the jackets, the trousers, the socks, the shirt, the hat, the glove. Right costumes at the right moment. I think he's the one who changes his costumes most often. He said he wants to get as close to the real experience as possible. And damn, if he doesn't do that well with the costumes, nobody does.

Ben also has great costumes - and wears them very well. The shirts, e.g. the one for "Man in the Mirror" I liked particularly well. And he sparkles during Billie Jean. As in: he has glitter or some magical dust flying all around him. It's beautiful.

Navi has great outfits, too, no doubt - but he mainly changes jackets during the show.

The singing (or lack of it)
This is the controversial point - as in: I need more facts.

Ben definitely sings live. I have no doubt about that. And he sings very well. It's amazing. He has no issues with any of the songs - and that while dancing. The singing is definitely the one point Ben has no competition but from Michael himself. It's the part about Ben that really makes you feel speechless.

Navi does not really sing live. Does he? He definitely doesn't have any background singers. Apparently, he mimes to Michael Jackson and sometimes sings over him. This is especially obvious in his old videos. I wouldn't mind - but I would like to have some more transparency on this. I prefer the truth more than anything. I loved Navi's performance (why else would I go and see him again?) - but I also love knowing what I am looking at. He's so damn convincing - I just don't know what to think and I hate being confused about something. During the first performance, he threw me off the idea of him singing live by signalling towards someone to the side of the stage when difficult sections of a certain song came up. The following performance, he didn't do that at all and even went into the audience during just that one particular section. Which was very weird. I mean, I admit I had a really good look at his lip and throat movements. I still have my doubts. What the hell is that man doing? But it really just sounds like Michael himself, so it probably is Michael.

Now to Kenny. Someone told me, he was not singing live but that his keyboard player was doing the vocals. Up to that moment, after five performances, I actually never had any doubts about Kenny's singing. Not one single doubt. After all, I had been on stage with him during "She's out of my life". He was singing then. And if you have a look at how he uses the microphone when he's not using the hand-free one (whatever the professional name for it is), you see that his movements correspond with what you hear.

But then I had a look at some videos. I just didn't like having doubts about Kenny. It kind of was a matter of destroying my belief into one of the few good things that happened to me in my life. Kenny Wizz, a liar? Please no. Yes, the keyboard singer does sing - but isn't he just doing harmonies / background vocals like some of the other band members? And when the guy sings a solo part in "I'll be there" he sounds very different from what Kenny sounds like. Ben's band also sings. And often, when Kenny is singing, the head of the keyboard player isn't in front of his microphone, so surely it is Kenny singing? And if Kenny wasn't singing himself, why would he not choose a perfect singer as his "live" voice? Because Kenny is far from perfect, depending on the song. He has issues with some songs. But his singing is absolutely adorable. I also found a video of a TV interview in which he sings a little during the interview. Surely that wouldn't be staged?

Anyway, in the end, Ben is the winner here. First of all because there are no doubts, and second of all: he's just that good. 

The band & the dancers
Navi's dancers and band sometimes looked a bit bored, along the lines of "let's get this job done, get the money, and go home". It was a bit of a let down during both shows, but then you have Navi to look at. But you really could get some more motivated dancers. During the two shows that I saw, Navi had Jennifer Batten with him, so that made up for the others.

Kenny had an outstanding team. The band was lovely. The dancers full of energy during every single show. I got to meet some of them, and after my last show, they handed me a used drum skin that was signed by the dancers and the band. It was really a sweet gesture and absolutely unexpected. When I asked whether the drummer could come out after a show, I was so surprised that more of them came out. They were ignored by most of the audience, but I loved meeting them as they had been part of one wonderful, unforgettable experience.

Ben's team was just as outstanding. Sure, they did not have a New Zealand guitarist (beat that), but they were excellent and very professional. I don't know much about bands, but even I could see that that band meant business. And they had fun. Ben only had two dancers but those women were just absolutely amazing to look at and full of energy. They clearly love what they are doing and it makes all the difference. 

The overall feel of the concert or: why do I want to see them again?
Each of the three made me want to see him again after just one show - so they all must have done something right. But what was it about each tribute artist that made me buy more tickets for additional shows? Good question.

Kenny: He's Kenny Wizz. I can't explain it. If he ever came to the UK, I'd go to every single show. Fortunately, my work as a freelancer would allow me to do this. I would need to  My bank account wouldn't thank me though. I would love to see him again. It's hard to explain. He's just special. He was responsible for a huge change in my life, and for that alone, I'll be forever grateful.

Ben: His singing, his dancing, his mannerisms. He's perfect. But I've only seen him once. So who knows, my opinion might chance. I know nothing about him, but for some reason I think that his connection to Michael Jackson is a bit more similar to my own than that of the other two. He's putting his soul into the show. This is also hard to explain.

Navi: Just like with the other two, I hardly know anything about Navi, but he might be the one who's a bit like Michael in real life, too. Or he seems to be someone who would like to be like Michael. I don't know, but it's kind of something that is radiating from him. Some sort of innate goodness that is hard to explain.

Great. It seems hard to explain in all three cases for three different reasons. But that's okay. The shows of Ben, Navi, and Kenny had one thing in common though - and that is easy to explain and might be the main reason why I want to see each of them again: They all made me feel like I'm not a hopeless case. Each of them made me feel like I can make my dreams come true. Of course none of them would ever care about my dreams - but they reach people like me and show that nothing is impossible. And even if it's a lie, it's nice to live that lie for a couple of hours.

The meet & greet after the show

All three of them usually have meet & greets after the show. Navi's was a little bit different because due to the presence of Jennifer Batten, you needed to buy VIP tickets to have access to the meet & greet after the show (which is not the case when Navi's on his own). This meant that there were less people and you had some more time than during the normal after-show meetings. So it might be a little unfair to give Navi the advantage here. He took me by surprise with the fact that he's actually capable of smiling. I had my doubts after the first time I saw him on stage. He was incredibly nice and very kind. I know, it is all part of his job, but I was really in need of someone being that nice. Jennifer was also lovely. And during the second time, they remembered that they had met me before. I am usually not the kind of person initiate hugs. I am very cautious around people, I don't trust easily after the experiences I made with people - but for some reason all of that went out of the window during the first meeting with Navi. Handshake? Sure thing, but then right in for a hug. I can't understand it myself. I don't usually do such things.
The second time, I was more myself again. But well, Navi remembered and this time he gave me the hug. And then Jennifer, too. I couldn't sleep all night. Jennifer terrified me with her costumes when I was a kid. But she's such a sweet woman. I also got into an argument with Navi about certain countries and which one is better. Both meeting were excellent. Navi seems to be wonderful, and has a very lovely energy around him. Very different from angry Michael on stage! To me, he seems like the kind of person I could talk to - and he'd understand and not misunderstand like the majority of people.

Kenny was also always very lovely during the meetings. Of course, he always remembered me. He just smelled incredible. Even sitting in the first row of the concert, you could smell him. It was the best smell ever. I wonder what he's using?
Anyway, it's clear he's a very good actor. He's got the Michael Jackson act down 100%. It's his job, and he's doing it very, very well. I don't want to write too much more about Kenny. It was just an experience that won't be repeated unless he comes to the UK.

When I met Ben, I was surprised that he wasn't that much taller than me. He had such an immense presence on stage, you just expect him to tower over you. There wasn't as much interaction as with the other two because there were a lot of people in the line. Poor guy must be really tired after such an evening, too.
Nevertheless, Ben was very nice, had a smile for everyone, and patiently signed people's things and had photos taken (or both). I didn't have anything signed. We know what happened after Kenny signed something for me (and if you don't: the saying he wrote down for me ended up as a tattoo on my neck. I just like it so much that I wanted it as a tattoo). He knows that I'll come to see him again because the woman who took the photo talked to me before and I mentioned I'll be moving to Scotland and then see him there, too. He seemed to be happy when people want to come and see him again. It was a short meeting, but very pleasant. He's very sweet - and seems very young still. He must be younger than me. But that's good. It means he won't retire any time soon. Just like Kenny, Ben manages to smile well on stage. And it's not an act, his smiles seem genuine and they do light up the room.

So, is there a #1 Michael Jackson tribute artist?
Most marketing teams like to call the MJ tribute they represent the NUMBER ONE. The only one to do this, the only one to do that. The one chosen by Michael. The only one to meet Michael. All rubbish. You know how marketing works. It's an intricate web of lies and truths that are made to look better than they really are. Navi isn't the only one who worked for Michael. Quite a few tribute artists got to meet him. And even though Kenny never got to see Michael or work for him, Kenny is excellent. And if Michael had ever seen him, he would have agreed. It just never happened - does that make Kenny worth any less than Navi? Absolutely not. At least not in my eyes.

Each of the three has strengths and weaknesses (I'm sure Ben has a weakness, too, somewhere. Nobody's perfect, even Michael himself wasn't). I like all three of them very much, and while there is no other in the UK that caught my eye, I am sure that there are some other excellent MJ tribute artists out in the world. They are all doing an important job for people like me, and for others who just want to be entertained.

And while all three of them are just playing the part, it gives me hope that somewhere out there, there is someone who really has a character like Michael and that I would meet this person one day.

Wednesday, April 6, 2016

Stuck in the past? People do change - even famous ones like Boy George!

Today, I got a bit annoyed because I read a few comments on Facebook about how Boy George's voice changed and that he should call it quits. They said something along the lines of him just not being the same any longer. Oh, guess what? He's gotten older, and in my personal opinion, better. It's not 1982 any longer. I was born in 1983, 33 years ago. I am not the same person I was in 1983. Or in 1993. Neither were you. No matter what your age is now, you are NOT the same as when you were 10, 20, 30, etc. years old.

One fact: PEOPLE CHANGE. Every single one of us changes. If you can't admit that, then you have a serious problem. It's not only our characters that change, but also our voices. People need to stop expecting that people like Boy George never change. Do you want him to only sing "Karma Chameleon" and "Do you really want to hurt me?" all the time? If yes, go, buy those records, put the videos on repeat on YouTube, and just keep your negativity about his development to yourselves. There are so many artists out there - I am sure one of them will be just the way you like them to be - but not forever. Wouldn't it be nicer to support those artists, tell them you like them? Tell them something positive, and spend your time on the positive things, instead of going around on Facebook groups of artists you do not like any longer?

I, for one, have only recently become interested in Boy George (I wrote about that here - so I won't repeat myself). If he hadn't change, if he'd still be stuck in an endless loop of Karma Chameleons, I probably wouldn't have wanted to learn more about him. I absolutely LOVE his current voice. The changes that happened in his life are actually the reason why I find him inspiring. I don't like every single song of his, I don't even know all of them - but I don't go onto the YouTube channels and write "I don't like this." on the songs and videos I do not like. And other people actually become so impolite and horrible when they comment about something they do not like. Why is that so? Why do they focus so much energy on the negative? I can't imagine going to the videos of artists I do not like, and abuse them verbally.

If you look at your own life, do you not see how you have developed over time? Why does it seem like many people do not give the same right to famous people? Why are they not allowed to change?

When I listened to Boy George CDs released in later years, I went "What? THIS is Boy George?" I was positively surprised. Amazed even. I love him the way he's now. I also love some of his older stuff (especially when he sings it with his current voice!) And there are plenty others who love his voice. Let us enjoy him. Stop hating changes. For some people, the changes in other people's life can be very inspiring and helpful.

George showed me, indirectly as I've never talked to him (now, that would be an amazing experience), that you can hit the bottom, get everything wrong, and then get things right, and become even better than before. Changes like that are wonderful. They give people hope.

Tuesday, March 22, 2016

Some dreams come true faster than you expect - A post about Boy George

Oh yes, it's partially about Boy George. Accept it and read on, or leave. It is up to you. I'm mainly writing this for myself, because writing helps me. You have been warned. This post might at some stage just turn into "Oh my god, I just don't believe it" nonsense.

 Less than one and a half months have passed since I wrote about Boy George, and how he randomly turned up in my life (and dreams). I have listened to a lot of his music since then, and learned more about his life. I'm not finished yet - there's a lot to catch up on. On one hand, I feel sad that I missed his tours and shows - on the other hand, I'm glad that he turned up when he did. It was a rather dark time in my life - still partially is, because life is not easy at the moment, and not one person around me actually notices or cares. I was close to giving up on many of my dreams. I did not write anything, apart from one or the other freelance job to get some money in. And that kind of writing isn't really what I want to do. With every piece I write in someone else's name, about something could care less about, I lose part of my soul.

Then, as described in my other post, Boy George happened. I watched a variety of videos on YouTube, mainly ones from the later part of his music career. Of course, he was incredibly cute when he was younger (and now he's absolutely gorgeous), but his more current voice is the one that seems to have a direct connection to my heart. He also seems to be more the kind of person I would get along with now. Maybe. I have no idea - it's not like I'd ever get the chance to find out. My ideas about him might be totally wrong.

If any of you read my last blog about him, you might remember that I thought about writing a letter to him - I actually did, and enjoyed the process. Though I have no idea whether the letter ever arrived, or whether I even used the right address. But at least I did something I wanted to do, no matter how pointless it seemed to be in other people's eyes. Who cares? It made me feel happier, so it was a good thing to do. Simple as that.

Boy George has a rather interesting effect on me. A certain performance I saw on YouTube made me cry because his voice in that performance was so loaded with emotions, and combined with the way his eyes looked in that video, it was just too beautiful. One of my thoughts was that if I ever saw such a performance live, I'd probably die. After all, how wonderful must his voice sound without being put through so many different channels (e.g. being recorded, then being sent to the internet, and so on)? I don't know much about the science behind sound, but I am sure live would sound even better. Not many people know this, but for some reason certain voices just have a magical effect on me. Boy George has one of those voices - not only when he sings, but also when he talks.

Basically, he gives me hope that you can pick up the pieces again after you have fallen and almost broke completely. And sometimes, you can become better than you have been before your fall. I was wondering whether he'd have the same effect on me in real life, what it would be like to see him in person. Of course, getting to talk to him without other people around would be like a dream - but I am realistic enough to know that there are SOME dreams that are just absolutely impossible. Talking to Boy George outside of dreams is one of them.
Interestingly enough, fate seems to be on my side this time. It looks like I will get to see Boy George on a talk show tomorrow. I'll be in the audience, but I never expected that just on THAT date, HE of all people would be there. When I found out about it, I didn't need coffee for the rest of the day. I still can't believe it. It's tomorrow! It's very unlikely that he'll sing, but starting step by step is probably a good idea. I'm not yet ready for a death via Boy George's voice. I'll get to hear him talk live though. It's unbelievable! So, one of my dreams (the most recent one) actually is about to come true.

The problem is that I am not even sure whether I can call myself a fan. I couldn't see myself as someone standing at a concert, just screaming. I would only want to listen to George's voice. How can people enjoy the quality he delivers when they just scream and screech? There is a place for cheering, of course, but.... if you go to a concert, don't you go to enjoy the music?
Then there are the people who've been following Boy George since I was born (1983). The people who have huge collections and can probably tell you what he did on which day. I am not one of them. Will never be. To me, my appreciation of artists is quite different. Yes, I bought some of his CDs, and am thinking about printing one of my favourite photos of him as a poster to put next to my writing space. I never liked the word fan. Even when I was a Michael Jackson fan, I never liked the word fan to describe my love/admiration for something or someone.

Enough of this now. You've been warned, it's a rather unstructured piece of writing.

Sunday, February 21, 2016

The importance of role models in my life

Most of us do have role models in our life. For some of us, they are members of our family. For some of us our biggest role model is one of our friends. For some of us, the biggest role models are famous people from various careers. Then there are people who claim to not have any role model - but that is a different story.

To me, my role models were mainly people from the world of music and acting. I simply had nobody in my family who was suitable as a person to look up to. There were alcoholics and people who stood by, doing nothing. As a young kid, my escape was the world of music, books, and TV. In there, I found people who had courage, who were well-spoken, encouraging, creative, and in a way always there for me.

The first two important role models who entered my life were Captain Jean-Luc Picard, portrayed by the fantastic Patrick Stewart, and Michael Jackson. Jean-Luc Picard was someone I wished to be my father - and you have to admit the man makes a rather good role-model with his ethics on the show. Sure, he did not like kids, but I always hoped he'd like me. I was too young to understand that the man did not really exist. I also believed that Michael Jackson would one day walk into my life and get me out of there. Hence I started learning English at a very young age, teaching myself with the help of music.

The next big influence came in the form of the warrior princess Xena. I was older then, and understood the difference between reality and fantasy a lot better (but I still hadn't given up on the idea that I would one day meet Michael Jackson). I loved the show, and Xena was a good role model - she was a strong woman in a world dominated by men.

When I got older, I also started to admire Lucy Lawless, the actress behind Xena, for her activism, her care for the planet, and her general attitude. I was lucky enough to see her live twice. What Xena taught me was that you could get through everything, and that even with a lot of darkness in your past, you can still become successful and change your life around.

Then Ian McKellen was added to the mix. I initially refused to watch Lord of the Rings because I loved the books, and was sure nobody but Patrick Stewart could be Gandalf. I just thought the movies would be horrible. Fortunately, I was wrong - and became interested in learning more about Ian McKellen. How lovely it was to see how he and Patrick Stewart became such good friends over time!

The latest two additions to my list of inspiring people were Darren Hayes (I have written about him here) and Boy George (I have recently written about him here). Both of them came into my life at times during which I needed motivation and inspiration that nobody in my immediate surroundings was and is able to give me.

While there are also others I like a lot, and who play a role in my life, the above mentioned people seem to have entered my life at very important times. They all had and still have important messages and lessons to me. They - unintentionally - helped me a lot in my life. Some of those people I have met, some I have not (yet) met or seen live. Michael Jackson I never got to see (because my mother did not allow me to go to the only concert I could've seen - just half an hour away by train). However, I got to see a fantastic tribute artist called Kenny Wizz (and unlike Michael, he actually sang everything LIVE) - who also came into my life at a time during which I needed motivation.

Some might call it coincidence, but I am not so sure about it. Those people all came into my life when I needed someone exactly like them. I do not think that the appearance of Boy George in my life is totally random (though it might seem to from the outside). After all, the man has been around for decades. He could've become of interest to me at any other time in my life - so why now? What can I learn from him? Persistence? Another lesson of how you can get up again after going through some tough shit?

Did some role models come into your life just when you needed them? If yes, who were they and what did they teach you?

Saturday, February 13, 2016

How Boy George very randomly walked into my dreams and made me write again

Some people might find it weird that I like a variety of different music styles and artists, and do not understand how I can listen to some artists and then to some who are so very different from them. It's not for them to understand. It's my interest, my enjoyment, my entertainment. One thing the artists I like have in common is that they went through some very hard times in their lives, and got through it. They also followed their passion for music and put their talent to good use. They show how important it is to not give up. And this kind of message spans genres. For me, an artist who has passion, motivation, and a will to fight means more than someone who is only in it for the fame, for the money, for the compliments.

I only very rarely add to my list of artists I really admire/love/respect and thoroughly enjoy. Sometimes they are artists who have been around for a long time. Recently, I ended up watching a Culture Club video. Of course, I knew about them. Their music was part of my childhood, but I never really cared. I did not understand them for a variety of reason (not starting to speak English until I was eight was one major reason, and having very conservative parents another). At that time I only had eyes for Michael Jackson and Madonna (which I kind of kept a secret). I don't even know how Boy George ended up on my radar. It was very random. But then I started wondering: "Hm, what is that guy doing these days? Is he still alive? Who is he actually?" So I did some - very superficial - "research".

I found out that he was a judge for the current season of "The Voice UK". Usually not my kind of show, but I was curious (and I have no idea why I suddenly cared about Boy George). Fortunately, I could catch up with BBC iPlayer, so I watched the first episode, then the second, the following day the third, and since then I watched it every week. Mainly because of Boy George. I don't know why, but he just makes me happy, and I could listen to him talking for hours (and some of you know how easy I fall in love with voices - and how random this appears to others).

But I still knew nothing about the man. I looked up the Voice Facebook site and saw some vicious comments about him. Some seemed odd to me, about his past. I thought: "I do not really care about his past, but if I want to understand where that hate comes from, I need to learn more." From my experience as a Michael Jackson fan, I knew that there had to be something that makes people talk like this - even if there was no truth to it. I wanted to know what it was about Boy George that outraged some people. I knew nothing. And I never knew more than three or four of his songs.

So I learned more about him, watched some older interviews, and spent one afternoon just taking it all in.
It was a lot to take in.
I now understood why some people don't like him and think he's not a good person, but I do not understand how people can hold on to something that happened in the past for so long, and judge his character so negatively. He could have done worse things. And it's admiring how he got through his addiction, how he overcame what people call his "downfall", and how he managed to come out of it all as such a beautiful character. The first thing I noticed about him when I saw him on the Voice was the sparkle in his eyes, the joy, but also some deep sadness. I was simply intrigued and deeply touched - and did not understand why. He also made me smile, and even laugh - I basically just enjoy seeing him, and hearing him talk. And I am not a person who simply gets enchanted by people. I like animals more, they are just more honest than people.

I am tempted to learn more about him - but I also am not sure whether I should. I care about him the way he is now. Do I need to know more about his past? Is it really important? He wrote two books, but should I read them? On one hand, I think I should, because I'm sure there are some relevant messages in those books that might help me along my own way. Maybe his story is the story I need to learn about to be able to overcome the block I face in my life right now.

All of that research happened yesterday afternoon. This morning, I woke up after a dream I can't really remember. I only know that I had Boy George's eyes in my mind when I woke up and that he was in that dream. I wish I could remember what happened.
I feel like writing a letter to him.
I feel like writing in general.
And you all know how long I have not written on this blog. Last year, I thought my energy was coming back to me, but it was only temporarily.
Will it be different this time?